Project 19

                  ✋ STOP BULLYING ✋

 

🌻   DEFINITION OF BULLYING 🌻

Bullying is an action or behavior that is done by hurting physically, verbally or emotionally / psychologically by a person or group who feels stronger against a victim who is weaker physically or mentally repeatedly without any resistance with the aim of making the victim suffer.

The term bullying comes from English, namely "bull" which means bull. Etymologically the word "bully" means a bully, a person who annoys the weak. Bullying in Indonesian is called "mengakat" which means disturbing, harassing, and hindering other people. Bullying behavior involves unbalanced strength and power, so that the victim is in a state of being unable to defend themselves effectively against the negative actions they receive. 

💎 BULLYING ELEMENTS 💎

According to Coloroso (2006), there are four elements in bullying behavior to someone, namely as follows:

1. Power imbalance. Bullies can be people who are older, bigger, stronger, more verbally proficient, higher in social status, of a different race, or not of the same gender. Large groups of children who bully can create an imbalance. 

2. Intention to injure. Bullying means causing emotional pain and / or physical injury, requires action to be able to hurt, and creates joy in the perpetrator's heart when witnessing the injury. 

3. The threat of further aggression. Both the perpetrator and the victim know that bullying can and is likely to happen again. Bullying is not meant to be a one-time event. 

4. Terror. Bullying is systematic violence used to intimidate and maintain dominance. Terror that stabs right in the heart of the victim is not only a way to achieve the goal of bullying, terror is the goal of bullying.

🌹 TYPES AND FORMS OF BULLYING 🌹

According to Coloroso (2006), bullying behavior can be grouped into four forms, namely:

🌾 a. Verbal bullying 🌾 

Bullying in the form of verbal is the most frequent and easy to do bullying. This bullying is usually the beginning of other bullying behavior and can be the first step towards further violence. Examples of verbal bullying include: nicknames, insults, slander, cruel criticism, insults, statements of sexual harassment, terror, intimidating letters, false accusations, vicious and false rumors, gossip etc.

🌾 b. Physical bullying 🌾

Bullying is most visible and easy to identify, but the incidence of physical bullying is not as much as bullying in other forms. Teens who regularly engage in physical bullying are often the most problematic and tend to turn to further criminal acts. Examples of physical bullying are: beating, kicking, slapping, choking, biting, scratching, spitting on, and destroying and destroying belongings of an oppressed child, and others.

🌾 c. Bullying is relational 🌾

Relational bullying is carried out by severing one's social relations with the aim of systematically weakening the victim's self-esteem through neglect, exclusion or avoidance. Bullying in this form is most difficult to detect from the outside. Examples of relational bullying are hidden behaviors or attitudes such as aggressive gaze, eye glances, sighs, sneers, mocking laughter and mocking body language.

🌾 d. Electronic bullying 🌾

Electronic bullying is a form of bullying behavior carried out by perpetrators through electronic means such as computers, cellphones, internet, websites, chat rooms, e-mails, SMS and so on. Usually intended to terrorize victims by using writing, animation, pictures and video recordings or films that are intimidating, hurtful or cornering.

📌 CHARACTERISTIC OF BULLYING PERPETRATORS 📌

🍒 1. Always want power 🍒

People who have a tendency to power, sometimes feel themselves superior to others. True, right ? This type of person often orders his friends to do various things. For example, to just pick up books, do school work, and even buy food. In fact, these things can be done alone. People who always want to be in power seem to want to always have an important role in their environment. Now, is there one of you like this?

🍒 2. Be selfish 🍒

Everyone really needs to be selfish. However, if it is done excessively and continuously it is also a danger, you know . If you are too selfish, this could be a major factor that triggers bullying . The reason is, you will care too much about your personal desires and pleasures. Selfish people also easily ignore other people's feelings. This habit makes you become a person who cannot sympathize and empathize with others. If given suggestions or criticism, even always give a negative response.

🍒 3. Irritable 🍒 

Another characteristic that you are bullying is easily angry with others. This action can be caused by many things. For example, always dissatisfied with the surroundings or lack of attention. When someone has this trait, they tend to be aggressive, feel insecure, and anxious. Finally, his anger was vented by committing mischief or actually scolding other people.

🍒 4. Don't feel guilty 🍒 

After you got angry or wronged a friend, have you ever felt guilty? If the answer is no, it could be that you have one of the traits of the bully . The habit of people who have this characteristic is often easy to make fun of, ridicule, and humiliate others without feeling guilty. If it continues, it can be very dangerous, you know ! Even from the results of your actions, it can make the victim become vindictive, and also bully others.

🍒 5. Lacking empathy and compassion 🍒

The bullies will experience a crisis of empathy and compassion for the situation around them. They could not imagine his position as a victim. Moreover, they do not care when they see the condition of the victim they have intimidated. Therefore, it is very important for you to instill a sense of empathy. Try from now on, multiply following humanitarian activities that can foster your sense of empathy for others!

🌞CHARACTERISTICS OF CHILDREN BECOMING VICTIMS OF BULLYING 🌞

The problem is, not all children will be wholeheartedly honest when asked. However, if children are accustomed to being open since childhood, the method above can work. If children are reluctant to answer, indications of bullying can be seen from the following characteristics:

🌳 Lazy children go to school 🌳

Always excited, he suddenly broke down at school. If there are no symptoms that he is sick, ask the child what happened to make him reluctant to go to school. If the child does not answer satisfactorily, communicate with the teacher to find out what happened at school so that the child becomes discouraged.

🌳 His learning achievement decreased 🌳

If the child looks lackluster, has difficulty concentrating until his performance drops dramatically, you may be suspicious. Of course, the cause is not bullying. But at least you've tried to figure it out and then find a way to solve the problem.

🌳 Children like to be alone 🌳

Bullying victims tend to shut down. He prefers to be alone, shy away from his own friends and family members. If your child is often caught alone in the room and cries, he or she may be the victim of bullying.

🌳 More emotional 🌳

Bullying victim children are more sensitive. He gets angry easily.

🌳 His habits changed 🌳

He is no longer cheerful. He is very introverted. He doesn't want to tell about activities at school. She also started hiding things from her parents. He's getting dishonest. Maybe he even dared to steal his parents' money.

🌳 The child has insomnia 🌳

He has trouble sleeping. Even if he finally fell asleep, he would easily wake up because of frequent nightmares.

🌳 Experiencing physical injuries 🌳

Children have injuries, but usually will say strange reasons to cover up the truth. He didn't want to admit that he was being bullied because he was embarrassed and didn't want to look weak. Therefore he chose to lie.

🌟 CAUSES OF BULLYING FROM THE VICTIM'S SIDE 🌟

The cause of bullying can come from the factor of the victim or the perpetrator. If you look at the victim's point of view, here are some factors that might cause children to become victims :

🍂🍂Physical appearance 🍂🍂

The first most common cause of bullying is physical appearance. When a child has a physical appearance that is considered different from other children in general, bullies can make it a material to bully the child. Different physical appearances can include being overweight or underweight, wearing glasses, wearing braces, wearing clothes that are considered uncool as other children. 

🍂🍂Race Racial differences also often cause a child to be bullied 🍂🍂

This generally occurs when a child of a different race enters a neighborhood and is considered a minority. Several surveys and studies have also shown that bullying due to different races is quite common.

🍂🍂Sexual orientation 🍂🍂

A person's sexual orientation is different and generally a child just realizes that a different sexual orientation is entering adolescence. Even in some countries that are familiar with LGBT issues, someone who identifies as lesbian, gay, and transgender often gets bully behavior . This is what makes a person tend to hide their sexual orientation. 

🍂🍂Look weak 🍂🍂

Another cause of bullying is when a child is perceived as weaker and appears not to be resisting. As previously mentioned, bullying involves an imbalance of power between the perpetrator and the victim. The perpetrator certainly feels that he is the stronger party and can dominate the weaker victim.

🍂🍂Looks not easy to get along with 🍂🍂

Apart from being weak, looking not easy to get along with and having few friends are also one of the causes of being a victim of bullying. Individuals who appear unfriendly and have few friends may also appear weaker and make the bully think they can dominate them.

🌼 IMPACT OF BULLYING 🌼

The effects of bullying can threaten every party involved, both children who are bullied, children who are bullied, children who witness bullying, even schools with the issue of bullying as a whole. Bullying can have a negative impact on the physical and mental health of children. In severe cases, bullying can trigger a fatal action, such as suicide.

🌺🌺 Negative Impact 🌺🌺

Children who are victims of bullying are more at risk of experiencing various health problems, both physically and mentally. As for the problems that children who are victims of bullying are more likely to suffer, include :

● The emergence of various mental problems such as depression, anxiety and sleep problems, these problems may carry over into adulthood.

● Physical health complaints, such as headaches, stomachaches and muscle tension.

● Feelings of insecurity in the school environment.

● Decreased enthusiasm for learning and academic achievement.

● In rare enough cases, child victims of bullying may show a violent nature.

🍋🍋 Positive Impact 🍋🍋

Besides its negative effects, bullying can also encourage the emergence of various positive developments for children who are victims of bullying. Children who are victims of bullying are more likely to :

● Stronger and stronger in facing a problem.

● Motivated to show their potential so they are no longer humiliated.

● Driven to introspect

🍅 HOW TO PREVENT AND MANAGE BULLYING ACTIONS 🍅

Prevention and treatment of victims of bullying

🌈 Prevention :

Prevention from becoming a victim of bullying can be done in various ways, as follows:

1. Do not carry expensive items or excessive money. Seizing, destroying, or holding the victim's belongings are actions that are usually carried out by the bully. Therefore, as much as possible do not give them the opportunity by bringing expensive items or excessive money to school. If you have to, hide it in a safe place, leave it with a trusted teacher or friend, or at least avoid putting the item or money in an open place that could attract the bully's attention .

2. Don't be alone. Perpetrators of bullying saw a solitary child as a potential prey. Therefore, don't be alone in the classroom, in the school hallway, or in other quiet places. If possible, be in a place where the teacher or other adult can see you. It would be even better if you were with friends, or trying to make friends with other loner children who may have also been victims. You may be helpless against bullies alone, but you will be safer with others.

3.  Don't mess with the bully. If you know that there are certain children who don't like you, or are widely known to be bullies , as much as possible avoid being around them or in the same area as them. This includes areas outside of school, such as the roads you normally use when commuting to or from school or in a pick-up vehicle. If forced, make sure there are adults (parents, teachers, employees) who can intervene with bullying or your friends.

4. What if one day you are still caught in a bullying situation? The key is to appear confident. Don't present yourself as weak or frightened, such as standing in an upright posture, looking down when spoken to or responding nervously. Stay calm, state your objections firmly, then leave them.

Don't let your emotions catch up and get back at them for their actions unless you feel you have enough skills to do so; if not (for example because the perpetrators carry weapons or the number of perpetrators is far greater), you will only make the situation worse. Only fight as a last resort to defend yourself if it's not possible to get away from it.

5.   Finally, bullying will only stop forever if you dare to report to a parent, teacher, or other adult you trust. You are not a coward at all; It takes much more courage to act and try to change the wrong condition the best you can than to just sit there and hope that all the suffering you are feeling will go away by itself.

📌 Handling :

1.Try to be clear about what happened to the victim of bullying. Emphasize that the incident was not his fault.

2. Help the victim cope with any discomfort, explaining what happened and why it happened. Never blame the victim for bullying.

3. Ask a third party (teacher or professional) to help return the victim to normal conditions, if necessary and to deal with the perpetrator.

4. For people who are close to the victim (such as parents), it is important to observe the behavior and emotions of the victim, even when the bullying that she has experienced has long since passed (remember that victims usually hold a grudge and are potential to become the perpetrator in the future).

5. For parents, build closeness with children's friends. Pay attention to their stories about children. Be aware of changes or unusual behavior.

🌄 PREVENTION AND HANDLING OF BULLYING PERPETRATORS 🌄

📝Prevention:

The role of parents in preventing a child from becoming bullies is very large. Here are tips so that children do not become bullies :

1.  Children can become bullies, among others, if they experience low self-esteem. Therefore, strive to educate children in an atmosphere full of love that educates children to have pride in themselves. Real affection also makes children feel safe and tends to be more willing to cooperate with parents / teachers. But be careful not to spoil the child which has an impact on the child's side.

2.  Be alert if your child shows excessive aggressiveness, especially to those who are weaker (siblings, caregivers, playmates who are smaller or shorter) or even animals, plants and toys.

3. If your child has been a victim of bullying, to prevent him from becoming a bully in the future, ask for expert help so that the problem is resolved properly and there is no grudge in the future. Observe the child's behavior and emotional state from time to time, even when the bullying has long since passed.

4.  Always try to be open and have discussions with children about various things. Always be ready to give positive comments and avoid judging children. However, don't let your children "harm" them by spoiling them excessively.

🎀 Handling :

1. Immediately ask the perpetrator to talk about what he was doing. Explain that his actions are detrimental to both himself and others. Get help from the experts so that the problem is handled properly and resolved completely.

2.  Find out why the perpetrator did this. Cause determines treatment. Children who become perpetrators because of inferiority complex will certainly be handled differently from perpetrators because of resentment because they have been victims. Likewise, if the perpetrator is caused by his different aggressiveness.

3.  Position yourself to help the offender and not judge the offender.

💻 To Better Understand, Readers Can Watch The Following Video 💻

💥 My Video About Bullying 💥

📌 Exercise about Stop Bullying 📌

Choose 1 big issue about bullying. Discuss about the issue and find out what is the best solusion they have already made to make their life better. publish your writing in your blog!

🍁 The Story of Farhan, Becoming a Bully Victim since High School 🍁

Jakarta, CNN Indonesia - That morning, it was 09.00 WIB on Jalan Kemenyan, Ciganjur, Jagakarsa, South Jakarta. 

Muhammad Farhan (19) was ready with a white shirt and black pants to take the exam at his place of higher education, Gunadarma University, Depok. 

When asked about his case, Farhan, who is currently in the third semester, admitted that he had received bullying since the first semester. Various bullying he received, such as a bag that was pulled, the door to the classroom was locked so that he could not leave the classroom when he came home from college, and the motorbike he sometimes drove was stripped down. 

When the widespread incident, Farhan said, he was locked up first in the classroom. He is not alone because there are many other students who have not left the classroom either. After the classroom door was opened, the bullying didn't stop. 

“ That afternoon I just got home from college, just when I was about to rush home being held by the door of the classroom. Not only was I in the class, but there were others, they also wanted to leave the classroom. Suddenly the door was opened, I went out, " he said “. 

“ Eh, but he (the perpetrator) actually waited for me in front of the class “. When I left, my bag was pulled. I immediately hit back and then I immediately threw it with the trash can, ” he said later “. 

Farhan admitted that all this time he was often helped by his friends when he became a victim of bullying. " Many also help me, especially women.” They protect me, advise those who bully me, " he said. “

However, Farhan said, bullying did not affect him in studying the Informatics System major. Even though he was bullied since semester one, he was able to study as usual. " It doesn't affect my grades, I continue to study as usual. My GPA was also 3.7 yesterday, " he said “.

So, in my opinion, this case of bullying should be given a solution, namely:

💙 Better efforts to rise from yourself

💙 Dare to report to parents or teachers

💙 Don't keep your feelings to yourself

💙 Teachers should help children who are being bullied to defend 

💙 Avoid blaming, criticizing or scolding yourself

💙 Make Bully an Encouragement to Succeed

So many explanation from me regarding the stop bullying material. Thank you for everthing, hopefully useful. Thank you so much 💝💝😊😊